the next thing.

Sometimes I want to skip ahead in my life. On to another phase. Around the next corner. I dream of the future and all the awesome things I'll get to do then. And I start to get dissatisfied with the things God has me doing now. I think they're boring, or just not quite as awesome as the picture of the future that I have in my head.

I was reminded this week by my dear friend Anna Kate of Elisabeth Elliot's saying, "do the next thing." I constantly want to skip ahead and look for other things to do, all the while ignoring the next thing that is right in front of me.

And for me, the next thing is going to work. It's teaching well. Loving my students. Interacting with my co-workers. Figuring out how to teach well in the weird situation I'm in. The next thing is coaching adorable 4th grade girls on Saturday and teaching them how to play sports and honor God in that. The next thing is leading students at my church in worship on Wednesday nights, and singing in the choir on Sundays. It's being a good sister, a good daughter, a good friend.

I have so much, and the Lord has been so good. He has given me so many wonderful next things. And when it's time for that hypothetical awesome future to get here and become a next thing, I'll embrace it. But for now I want to soak in this season of my life, because I don't know how long it will last, and I don't want to miss it.

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven... he has made everything beautiful in its time. 

be strong and courageous.

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.

This past year, I have let fear creep into my life. Fear of looking stupid, fear of caring too much. Fear of not being good enough, not trying hard enough. I've been afraid of living at home and leaving my friends. I've been afraid of my own emotions.

Fear has been like this disease, poisoning my relationships, and stealing my joy. And I'm so tired of it. 

This year, Lord, remind me that you're with me, and let it make me brave.

live in the sunshine

Cheer up my brothers, live in the sunshine

We'll understand this, all by and by 

....

Josh Garrels

good advice.

"Be yourself. Above all, let who you are, what you are, what you believe, shine through every sentence you write, every piece you finish." 

John Jakes

saying yes.

Lord, help me to say yes to my adventure instead of longing to have someone else's. 

things making me happy [december edition]

{1}

In honor of December's arrival, I made these little guys last night :)

{2}

Christmas music has started! Here are my favorites this year:

[1] Santa Clause is Coming to Town - Justin Bieber

[2] Hark the Herald Angels Sing - Josh Groban & Brian McKnight

[3] Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer - Andrew Ripp 

[4] I'll Be Home for Christmas - Michael Buble

[5] God Rest Ye Merry Gentleman - Bethany Dillon

[6] O Come O Come Emmanuel - Maeve

[7] Oh Come All Te Faithful - Faith Hill

[8] Joy to the World - Sufjan Stevens

[9] Silent Night - Sarah McLachlan

[10] What Are You Doing New Years Eve? - Ella Fitzgerald 

[11. Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas - Frank Sinatra

{3}

I bought a MacBook. I'm mostly in love with it so far, and spending way too much time playing around on it.

{4}

Funny things my students write on their worksheets. 

{5}

These adorable silver-tipped matches I discovered at my house

{6}

Hilarious conversations my family has on this group messaging app we started using

{7}

Reading the Chronicles of Narnia. I'm embarrassed to say it's my first time to ever read them. 

on [un]gratefulness and lions.

So yesterday was thanksgiving, the holiday of gratefulness.


And, if I'm being honest, this season of my life (post-college, living with my parents, teaching at the detention center, etc.) has not been marked with gratefulness.

Or even lightly dusted with it.

I have complained, sometimes out loud, to people, but far more often in my heart, to the Lord. Along with this posture of ungratefulness came a host of other unpleasant things, like restlessness, selfishness, and distrust in the Lord.

I've been wallowing in these things for a few months now, and every now and then I'd see the light, the millions of things I had to be grateful for, and get my act together. But I would always return to those attitudes, because, as awful as they are, they're easier. And in some strange way it feels good to feel sorry for yourself.

then 2 or 3 nights ago, I read this verse:

Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you. (Psalm 116:7)

And the Lord's voice practically shouting at me, I have been here, pouring out my goodness on you, and you're shutting your eyes to it.

And it's funny, because when the Lord speaks, and I'm actually listening, I never feel hurt or embarrassed,  or offended, or even ashamed, but His voice is completely disarming. And humbling. I forget all the complaints and excuses I had, and it makes me want to give up. In the very best way.

In the Chronicles of Narnia, there are two quotes about this. I love how C.S. Lewis describes the effects of an encounter with God, or in this case, a lion:

But he was in no danger of feeling conceited for he didn't think about it at all now that he was face to face with Aslan. This time he found he could look straight into the Lion's eyes. He had forgotten his troubles and felt absolutely content. - The Magicians Nephew

"You have a traitor here Aslan," said the Witch. Of course everyone present that she meant Edmund. But Edmund had got past thinking about himself after all he'd had that morning. He just went on looking at Aslan. It didn't seem to matter what the Witch said. -The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe


So all of that said, here is my gratefulness list this thanksgiving:

1. I am so incredibly thankful for the disarming voice of God, and that He chooses to speak to me.
2. I am thankful for a job that I am in love with, and students who make my day every time I go into work.
3. I am thankful for a family who loves me much more than I deserve, and think much more highly of me than they ought to.
4. I am thankful for friends who are more like sisters, and a sister who my best friend.
5. I am thankful for the power of music. There have been so many times when I have felt less alone just because of a song lyric written by someone whom I have never met.

Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you. Amen.